​

March 15, 2025
​Good morning, my friends!

I love lists! Grocery lists, lists of favorite songs and books, lists of tiny moments that blossomed into favorite memories. . . but making to-do lists is my security-tick. When I feel anxious, I whip out the closest paper, dig out a pen, and vigorously dump my wild brain out into a line of bullet-pointed tasks. Imagine the same intensity that a hyperventilating person sucks air in and out of a paper bag. . . that is what I do with my list-making tick. Typically, I feel better because I’ve got a tangible and visual “compass” of what I need to do to make it through the day, week, month, or year.

Recently (the past two weeks, actually!), to-do lists have had the reverse effect on me. Instead of feeling immense relief, I became more anxious as I set up my weekly planner. As an experiment, I replaced my weekly list with one task: “Just make it to Wednesday.” What I meant by that was showing up each day and attending to only what was in front of me. Anything other than the bare essentials was far too much “mind-chatter” for me to be able to focus.

My experiment is now over. . . but I walked away with a new insight that I hope can make you chuckle and “survive” your near future as well! Haha!

​

Day One (Monday 3/10):

I got off from work around 7 pm. While driving down our ten-mile country road, my thoughts imploded in my ears. I felt like I had signed up for something impossibly out of my depth. In my mind, I started crafting a new list (not a to-do list. . . that would have foiled the experiment!) This list was a list of “I absolutely can’t . . . x, y, and z” and “current pet worries.”
It was a long list!

It became abundantly clear that I was terrified of the near future! I was scared to death of Tuesday morning and Tuesday afternoon. . . In fact, I was paralyzed by the thought of the entire week.

“Make it to Wednesday” was intended to alleviate stress. Initially, I thought, “If I just made it to Wednesday, alive, intact, without singeing off my eyebrows, hitting a deer, or electrocuting myself (or someone else). . . . then that’s an accomplishment all on its own!” Haha! I was trying to trick my brain. But by day one of my experiment, the goal of “making it to Wednesday” shifted into a frantic high-stakes game I desperately wanted to exit. The goal was no longer "focus-on-one-thing-at-a-time-until-Wednesday." The goal became primal survival! Blood, guts, and gore!

As I drove down our long road, I flat out panicked. The thought of tomorrow overwhelmed me. I pulled off to a little lake on our country road to collect myself and tell God all about it. (It was the messiest, sloppiest prayer! I’m so glad it was just between me and Him–because it was anything but heart-warming or eloquent. It was an emotional hurricane, frenzied panic of a prayer!)

All that to say, the lake was beautiful, and I felt better after telling God all about it! (I even watched a baby beaver swim a couple of laps!)

But when I got back on the road, I gave myself a three-step mantra. . . This little pep talk isn’t so much for you readers as it is me drumming out my own spiritual CPR!

What I told myself in the car leaving the lake behind and chugging into Tuesday was this. . .

God sees, God hears . . .
He knows all about it . . .
By His grace, I CAN do this!
Because this is exactly what
He has put in front of me to do!

​

God sees, God hears . . .

Before I reached the half-frozen lake, God had heard all about my day!
Yes, God saw my entire day, but after work,
He heard all about it in exquisite detail.

But I didn’t stop there. I told Him about last week, and next week, and last night, and what I had to do tomorrow, and my month, and last month, and all my hopes and fears. . .

Since it was just me in my car, I actually said it all out loud. (Yes, I talk to myself sometimes. Ha!) It probably would’ve been unintelligible to anyone else. Goodness, none of it was even in chronological order!
Nope, it was a rushing babbling torrent,
like when fire hydrants are cranked open in the spring.

The point is, God sees and hears everything that has to do with me. I didn’t have to be concerned with time-stamping all the facts. I didn’t need to get bogged down with the nitty-gritty details to bring my prayer requests to Him. He sees and He hears. . . and after all of that, He still invites me to pour out my heart to Him! He doesn’t just hear; He listens to my exhausted heart. He listens to my fears and anxieties.

God notices the shaky breaths that I draw in the mirror,
but hide from everyone else.
He notices the tear that slides down my face,
only to get brushed under my chin before anyone else sees.
He hears the rising heartbeat booming in my ears,
even though no one else can perceive it.
He hears the sniffles that I cover up with an oversized bouquet of tissues,
but are out of earshot to every other soul.
He sees my brown eyes wide awake peering to the ceiling at 4 am. . .
​no one else could see something like that!
And on Monday, He saw me on the bank of that lake
wholly bewildered!

My God sees and hears me! What a comfort!

Hagar realized the same thing in Genesis 16:13,

He knows all about it. . .

God knew all about my week and the parts that I still had not encountered yet. He knew everyone I would intersect paths with. He knew all about the situations I gushed about on the bank of that country pond. He knew the ending to all of the problems. He knew the solutions to all the problems. He knows what will happen between today and tomorrow. He knows all! Every crease and fold of my situation. . . He is fully aware of.

My life’s verse is Psalms 138:8. It has something to say in every situation. Psalms 138:8 works in all places and in every pickle I find myself in.

There isn’t much more to be discussed after
a promise like that from the Lord!

“Yes, but what about the problems with the car?”
God can rebuttal with Psalms 138:8.
“But what about unforseen incidentals, like . . . the common cold?”
Psalms 138:8!
“What about my finances?”
Psalms 138:8!
“Ahh. . . but what about next month?”
Psalms 138:8!
“Ok, but what about that email that I never got a response from?”
Psalms 138:8!
“But. . . but. . . but. . ."

No matter the issue, I can’t argue very well with a promise like Psalms 138:8. God knows all about my present circumstances and what’s around the corner.

By His grace, I CAN do this . . . because this is exactly what He has put in front of me to do!

Do I believe in being realistic with my abilities and experience? 100%! Absolutely! But when I back out of even attempting something God is asking me to do, because the pessimistic sports announcer in the back of my brain swiveled her narration from “I can” to “I can’t,” then I have lost half the battle in my mind. It becomes a self-fufilling prophesy. I can’t do something that I never attempted to start.

I will always be capable of trying my best. Shifting my focus back onto what I can do is crucial. If I quit everything that I told myself I couldn’t do. . . I’d probably still be in 8th grade!

During my little experiment, I did a lot of firsts! A lot! (I’ll give you a hint: This week was chock-full of blood, sweat, and tears! Haha! Literally!) Maybe if someone told me a month ago, “Hey Mariah, in March, you are gonna do x, y, and z,” I would have balked! No way! I can’t!

But because the Lord placed a responsibility in my lap, He enabled me to do much more than I thought I was capable of doing.

To reiterate. . . can I do everything that I’ve ever attempted? No!
BUT everything that God has ever asked me to do, I was capable of doing!

Sometimes at the end, I’m amazed! I think, “Had it not been for the grace of God–I would not have been able to do that!” No matter the nature of the assignment, God will provide a special grace to accomplish what He is asking me to do. I’m not saying that it’s easy or pleasant, but it’s doable!

I CAN always do what Jesus is asking of me today. I’ve got a job to show up to, I’ve got a family to make memories with, I’ve got a church family to invest in, I’ve got Jr. church kids that I can love on, I’ve got people in my community that I can share tracts with. . .
I’ve got a lot that I CAN do right here where I’m at.

Arthur Ashe, a secular tennis player, once said, “Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.” (Disclaimer: Ashe isn’t a Christian, but at one time, he had a genius stroke of witty common sense!) If I focus on something simple, like what I CAN do, instead of having a staring contest with my list of what I CAN’T do. . . I’ll accomplish a lot more!

Elisabeth Elliot describes a time when she was reeling after the death of her husband. She discovered that providing answers about the future was anxiety-inducing and futile, but she always COULD “do the next thing.”

As with every new day, God gives grace!

Results of the Experiment:

Full transparency–2025 has been nuts! It seems like every day I wake up and discover with a “ping” a new plot twist. This week was no exception, but hey–I made it to Wednesday! Haha!
I even made it to Saturday! Haha!

The perspective that I gained at the lake earlier this week was a game-changer for everything that followed.

When I left the lake on Monday, I focused on what God was asking me to do, and therefore what I would be able do, by His grace.

Monday: I kind of let myself wallow in a moment of being overwhelmed,
so I took some time at the pond.
​“I CAN wake up on time tomorrow. I CAN be presentable. I CAN pray about all of this. I CAN smile. I CAN let God get me through the day.”
God helped me do all of those things!

Tuesday: Oof! Tuesday ended a little rough! Ha!
(I actually got into a car accident - I was T-boned on that day!)
​“I CAN call the police. I CAN call my boss. I CAN stay calm. I CAN go to bed early, and I CAN focus on getting ready for a better day tomorrow.”​
God helped me do all of those things!
​
​Wednesday: I was honestly pretty sore from the accident . . .
​“I CAN show up to work. I CAN smile. I CAN take Tylenol. I CAN take a nap later. I CAN do my best. I CAN listen to my client’s concerns and worries. I CAN be teachable. I CAN go to church.”​
And God helped me do all of those things!

At the beginning of this week, the near future (just the short distance from Sunday to Wednesday) seemed insurmountable.

But God gave me help at every turn! I discovered that I COULD do a lot more than I initially thought.

One of my clients asked me this week, “How do you show up so happy and chipper?” I shot right back by saying, “It’s the Lord! He works miracles! He’s keeping me alive and going!” That was the frank truth! No exaggeration, because I was wondering the same thing! Haha!

By focusing on what I COULD do all week, I made it to Wednesday! God got me through! He'll continue to do so!

​
​–with love,